You Make Sense

In this heartfelt episode of You Make Sense, Sarah explores the often-overlooked emotional complexities of the holiday season. While the holidays are often painted as a time of joy and togetherness, Sarah acknowledges the undercurrent of loneliness, grief, and stress that many experience. She unpacks how societal expectations and past experiences can amplify these emotions, offering relatable insights and actionable tools to help listeners navigate this season with more ease.Sarah delves into the somatic roots of grief and loneliness, using Parts Work to differentiate between our adult self and younger parts. From tending to these younger parts to finding solace in music, nature, and intentional connection, this episode offers a blueprint for transforming holiday challenges into opportunities for healing and self-discovery.Episode Highlights00:00 Intro02:09 Reasons the Holidays Can Be Challenging06:58 Connecting to the Unmet Need09:05 Why We Struggle to Process Grief13:34 Step 1: Grief is Best Processed Through Connection15:06 Step 2: What Parts of You Are Struggling?15:45 Step 3: Focus on Nourishing Yourself17:03 Step 4: Connection19:42 Identify Which Part of You is Feeling Sad30:46 How to Process Death and Loss39:50 Coupling Dynamics & the Holidays49:42 “Why Do I Drink More Around My Family?”  Join the Navigating Your Nervous System Waitlist:Want access to limited-time pricing for Sarah’s upcoming 6-week course? Make sure to get on the waitlist for Navigating Your Nervous System by January 5th to take advantage of the 24-hour only $100 off bonus.https://bit.ly/sp-nyns-waitlistConnect with Sarah on:Website - https://www.sarahbaldwincoaching.com/Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/sarahbcoaching/Facebook - https://www.facebook.com/Sarahbaldwincoaching/Submit a Question:https://sarahbaldwin1.typeform.com/podcastImportant Keywords:Loneliness - Loneliness is the feeling of being disconnected or isolated from others, often heightened during the holidays when societal messages emphasize togetherness. Sarah highlights how loneliness can stem from unmet needs, relational trauma, or past experiences and encourages using somatic tools and Parts Work to address it.Grief - Grief is the emotional response to loss, encompassing not only what happened but also what never was. Sarah explains how grief surfaces when we feel safe enough to process it and encourages gentle, titrated processing of these emotions to create space for healing and growth.Connection - Connection is a fundamental human need that fosters a sense of belonging and emotional safety. Sarah emphasizes the importance of cultivating meaningful connections with others, nature, and ourselves, as these relationships are key to navigating emotional challenges.Parts work - Parts work is a therapeutic approach that acknowledges and tends to different aspects of the self, particularly younger parts carrying past wounds. Sarah discusses how identifying and comforting these parts can bring clarity and healing during emotionally challenging times.Regulation - Regulation is the process of bringing the nervous system into safety and balance, allowing us to respond to situations from a calm, grounded place. Sarah suggests somatic practices such as mindfulness, movement, and connection to achieve regulation and build emotional resilience.Healing - Healing is the process of addressing past traumas, unmet needs, and emotional pain to create space for growth and well-being. Sarah frames healing as an ongoing journey of self-compassion, connection, and transformation, particularly relevant during challenging emotional periods.

Do you find romantic partnerships challenging, confusing, or overwhelming? Sarah is going to walk you through what is necessary to heal your attachment wounds and come toward more secure, healthy relationships. Although it might seem counterintuitive, the kind of connection we’re desiring often doesn’t “feel good” at first. In fact, our first experience of a secure attachment can range from being boring — to completely terrifying.The good news is that this doesn’t necessarily mean the relationship is wrong for you! In this episode, you’ll learn the neuroscience behind why healthy love can initially feel overwhelming or unexciting. But the more that we step toward safe connection, the deeper and more intimate our relationships become, giving us a container where we can truly be seen, known, and chosen.Episode Highlights00:00 Intro01:01 Earned Secure Attachment06:12 The Good Doesn’t Feel Good at First08:45 Why A Secure Attachment Can Feel Boring10:08 Love from Choice vs Love from Survival16:33 Why A Secure Attachment Can Feel Terrifying24:00 Leaning into a Secure Attachment29:40 “Why Do I Feel Like I’m Going Backwards?”30:52 Building Capacity for Vulnerability and Exposure35:06 The Beautiful Orphaned Parts of Us39:43 How to Know if the Lack of Attraction is Normal46:37 Regret Is an Opportunity for Self-Compassion & Learning52:01 Perceived Threats in Relationships01:06:01 Even with Loving Parents, Relationships Can Be Hard   Grab Sarah’s FREE Workbook:Ready to gain control over your life? Click below to download Sarah’s free trauma-informed workbook. This in-depth guide will help you to harness the power of your nervous system and unlock your desires.https://bit.ly/yms-sp-workbookConnect with Sarah on:Website - https://www.sarahbaldwincoaching.com/Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/sarahbcoaching/Facebook - https://www.facebook.com/Sarahbaldwincoaching/Submit a Question:https://sarahbaldwin1.typeform.com/podcastImportant Keywords:Secure Attachment - A safe, stable way of attaching and relating to others in our relationships that forms in our early childhood from having caregivers who could consistently meet our needs for love, safety, attunement, and connection. Earned Secure Attachment - A secure attachment that develops through intentional self-work and healing from past patterns. It reflects personal growth and the ability to attract healthier relationships by creating internal safety for yourself and your younger parts.Neuroception - Your body's internal threat detector that is constantly assessing whether you’re in safety, danger, or life-threatening danger. It decides this by looking to a database of past information that holds all your lived experiences.Parts Work - A therapeutic process that involves connecting with and healing younger parts of yourself that hold onto past wounds. It’s a core tool for building internal safety and reshaping how you show up in relationships.Trauma Bond - A strong emotional connection formed through cycles of highs and lows in an unstable relationship. Often mistaken for love, trauma bonds are rooted in survival instincts and unresolved past pain.Protective Parts - Younger parts that learned to keep you from past emotional harm by creating walls, avoidance, control, or sabotage. Even if the past is over, these well-intentioned parts can keep you from fully engaging in healthy relationships.Capacity Building - The process of gradually expanding your emotional tolerance for safety, love, and connection. It involves learning to sit with discomfort as you adjust to the steady, healthy love you’ve always wanted.

This episode pulls back the curtain on how our “younger selves” often influence the way we show up in our adult lives. From the perfectionist to the procrastinator, these protective parts develop in response to early or past experiences of feeling unsafe or overwhelmed. If we have yet to come to the aid of these parts, they will continue to show up in an effort to keep our vulnerable parts safe, often keeping us stuck in cycles that no longer serve us.Using science-backed concepts and practical tools, Sarah guides listeners on how to recognize and calm these parts so that our adult selves can take charge. By differentiating ourselves from these parts, unburdening these protectors, and coming to the aid of the vulnerable part they are protecting, it’s possible to start living in alignment with our highest self—and navigate the world with more freedom.Episode Highlights00:00 Intro00:16 Are Your Young Parts Running the Show?01:10 Understanding Somatic Parts Work06:10 The Power of Internal Coregulation07:43 What is a Protector Part?09:08 The Doer Part15:23 The Perfectionist Part21:21 The Procastinator Part28:18 Adult Life Can Be Overwhelming30:18 Building Capacity to Be in Your Adult Self32:24 Unburdening the Protector Parts35:07 Supporting the Most Vulnerable Part37:52 “How Do We Know How Many Parts There Are?”44:36 Learning to Differentiate From Your Parts51:29 Why Do We Experience Roadblocks?  Take Sarah’s FREE Quiz:Ready to learn more about your nervous system specific to you? Take Sarah’s free quiz, “What’s Keeping You Stuck?” for a personalized guide and powerful somatic tools to help you gain control over your experience. https://bit.ly/yms-sp-quizConnect with Sarah on:Website - https://www.sarahbaldwincoaching.com/Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/sarahbcoaching/Facebook - https://www.facebook.com/Sarahbaldwincoaching/Submit a Question:https://sarahbaldwin1.typeform.com/podcastImportant Keywords:Parts Work - A therapeutic approach that involves understanding and working with different “parts” of oneself, especially those that have been influenced by past experiences or trauma.Most Vulnerable Parts - Younger versions of ourselves that fragment off when we experience trauma, harm, or overwhelm and essentially get “stuck” in that painful experience until we can come to their aid as our adult self.Protector Parts - These are also  younger versions of ourselves that develop as a way to keep the most vulnerable part safe, often through controlling behaviors, avoiding risks, or overachieving to make sure the vulnerable part never has to feel that pain again.Internal Co-Regulation - A process of self-soothing, where the adult self learns to comfort and integrate these young parts, providing them with the care and safety they lacked in the past.Neuroception - The brain’s subconscious detection of safety or threat, which shapes how we react to situations based on internal “safety” signals and past memories.Internal Family Systems (IFS) - A therapeutic model often referenced in Parts Work, which sees the self as made up of multiple parts, each with its own role, memory, and emotional state.

This episode uncovers the hidden roles we carry in relationships—roles that often date back to our earliest experiences and shape how we connect with others. From being the “caretaker” to the “perfectionist,” these familiar patterns tend to influence our choices and interactions long after childhood, even if that role no longer serves us.With tools grounded in neuroscience and practical guidance, this conversation dives into what it takes to rewrite those outdated scripts. Listeners will learn simple steps to heal the past, break free from conditioned reactions, and start building relationships that align with who they truly are. It’s absolutely possible to embody a new role and make room for the connections that genuinely feel right.Episode Highlights00:00 Intro00:33 Why Do We Play the Roles We Play?02:19 Family Systems & the Origin of Our Roles07:13 Secure Attachment & Healthy Family Plays10:19 Many of Us Did Not Have a Healthy Family System13:57 Choosing Partners & “Compatability” 17:21 Healing Allows us to Write a New Role21:45 The Bumpy Road of Healing27:59 “How Can You Get Comfortable in Receiving When You’re a Giver?”39:06 Being of Service vs. Being of Sacrifice46:44 Why We Disconnect from Our Emotions54:16 “How Do You Forgive?”Waitlist Bonus Coming in 2025:Ready to start feeling better in the New Year? Navigating Your Nervous System is a 6-week, live course focused on the most important foundation of healing: nervous system regulation. Join the NYNS waitlist by January 5th for limited-time reduced pricing! https://bit.ly/sp-nyns-waitlistConnect with Sarah on:Website - https://www.sarahbaldwincoaching.com/Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/sarahbcoaching/Facebook - https://www.facebook.com/Sarahbaldwincoaching/Submit a Question:https://sarahbaldwin1.typeform.com/podcastImportant Keywords:Nervous System - The nervous system is central to understanding our emotional and relational patterns. It holds the embodied experience of past memories and influences how we respond to others, shaping the roles we play in our lives.Roles - The patterns we adopt in relationships, often influenced by early family dynamics. Common roles include caretaker, perfectionist, scapegoat, and the helpless one, which define how we interact with others. Changing these roles allows us to step out of limiting patterns and embrace more fulfilling connections.Family System - The family system is the foundation of our relational blueprint. It establishes our initial roles and influences how we navigate social dynamics, often carrying over into adult relationships.Attachment - Attachment refers to the emotional bonds formed with primary caregivers, impacting how we relate to others. Secure attachment fosters healthier relationships, while insecure attachment can lead to self-protective behaviors and dynamics. Healing attachment wounds enables us to build stable, supportive connections.Healing - Healing is the process of releasing old roles and expanding the nervous system’s capacity for change. It involves recognizing and shedding survival patterns and replacing them with practices that honor our true selves. Healing is an empowering journey toward self-discovery and authentic relationships.Patterns - Patterns are recurring behaviors that shape how we interact with others. These automatic responses often stem from unresolved past experiences and can hold us back. Using a somatic approach to transform these patterns is key to stepping into new roles and fostering growth.