Is the spark gone? Dr. Scott Lyons, as I explore how to get the spark back in relationships and
sex. We're talking about why the spark is not what you think and what you're actually looking for.
In this episode, Dr. Scott Lyons and I discuss:
● Why the initial 'spark' might be misleading.
● The importance of evolving and growing in relationships.
● How trauma responses affect attraction and intimacy.
● The difference between intensity and intimacy.
● Practical ways to cultivate a sustainable and fulfilling connection.
I share personal experiences and insights on dating, attraction, and the journey toward deeper
self-understanding. Dr. Scott Lyons brings his expertise as a trauma therapist and somatic
healer to help us understand the complexities of relationships and sexuality.
Show Notes:
00:00:00 - Rekindling the Spark: What You Need to Know
00:02:45 - The Reality of Growth: Attraction Can Evolve
00:07:57 - Freedom vs. Attachment: Different Relationship Patterns
00:11:10 - Evolving Attraction: Hemisexuals, Saposexuals, and Demisexuals
00:15:03 - The Attraction ICK: Is There an Attraction Spark?
00:19:29 - Peeling Away the Layers: The Beauty of Intimacy
00:22:49 - The Honeymoon Period Is Drunk: Sobering Up and Finding Organic Excitement
00:27:40 - Variety and Newness: Keeping the Spark Alive
00:31:17 - Passion or Safety: Cultivating Eroticism in Safety
00:35:56 - Arousal Runway: Pottery Classes and Cooking Meals
00:40:19 - Developing New Habits: Making Time for Connection
00:42:51 - Chasing the Familiar: Red Flags as a Spark
00:46:16 - The Importance of Feeling Safe
00:49:54 - Childhood Was Perfect: Somatic Therapy and Nervous System Regulation
00:53:10 - Grounding in Our Senses: Getting Back to Sensuality and Connection
00:56:26 - Healing Patterns: Not Taking the Bait
00:58:20 - Sustainable, Healthy, Loving Relationships: Going the Distance
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See the full show notes at www.sexwithemily.com
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1:03:34
Praise, Humiliation & Other Kinks
What feeling are you chasing in bed? No, I’m not talking about orgasm. I’m talking about an emotion, like feeling worshiped, praised, or unbelievably desirable. On the other hand, maybe it arouses you to feel degraded, objectified – even humiliated.
On today’s show, I’m unpacking a kink that’s getting a ton of attention on social media: praise kink. It falls under the larger umbrella of core erotic desires, which we all have. I show you how to identify your core erotic desires and how to turn them into realities. I also get into your kinky questions, including: when you adore your fiancée, but fantasize about sex with your much kinkier ex, what now? And when your partner constantly gets hit on my other men, is it healthy to get turned on by it? All this and more in today's episode.
Join the SmartSX Membership: Access exclusive sex coaching, live expert sessions, community building, and tools to enhance your pleasure and relationships with Dr. Emily Morse.
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The only sex book you’ll ever need: Smart Sex: How to Boost Your Sex IQ and Own Your Pleasure
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See the full show notes at sexwithemily.com
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43:19
Sex and Self-Confidence
You’ve heard this one before: the sexiest quality in the world is confidence. And that’s true...but...it’s not always easy to muster. Confidence is an inside job, but here’s the good news. Once you generate it on your own terms, life - and sex - gets a whole lot easier.
So on today’s Ask Emily show, I’m joined by my dear friend and former co-host Menace from The Woody Show, as we talk confidence, jealousy, What happens when you adore your partner, but can’t stop thinking about their high body count? Or want to have hot phone sex, but don’t know where to start? We talk through both. How about when you feel too short to find a great partner, or don’t know how to be dominant in bed? We help you think through both. Finally: discovering your partner’s can of delay spray. Our listener wonders whether he’s sleeping with someone else; we think it’s time for open communication.
For their buy 1 get 1 50% off deal, head to 3DayBlinds.com/SWE.
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Join the SmartSX Membership: Access exclusive sex coaching, live expert sessions, community building, and tools to enhance your pleasure and relationships with Dr. Emily Morse.
Yes! No! Maybe? List & Other Sex With Emily Guides: Explore pleasure, deepen connections, and enhance intimacy using these Sex With Emily downloadable guides.
SHOP WITH EMILY! (free shipping on orders over $99)
The only sex book you’ll ever need: Smart Sex: How to Boost Your Sex IQ and Own Your Pleasure
Want more? Visit the Sex With Emily Website
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See the full show notes at sexwithemily.com
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29:18
Am I The Asshole? My Partner Never Wants Sex
We’re back for another AITA episode! This time it’s all about sexual mismatches. First: they’ve got a 12-year age difference, and she suspects his sex drive is dwindling. She doesn’t want to cheat, but she also wants more sex…what now? Next, he wants sex for pleasure, she was raised to do it only for procreation. Is there any way to meet in the middle? A self-professed "pillow princess" writes in, is she the asshole for wanting to receive pleasure – but not give it? Finally, they’re in a dead bedroom of 10 years. “She’s repulsed by my touch” he writes, but is he really asserting himself to make healthy changes? You decide
For their buy 1 get 1 50% off deal, head to 3DayBlinds.com/SWE.
.
Join the SmartSX Membership: Access exclusive sex coaching, live expert sessions, community building, and tools to enhance your pleasure and relationships with Dr. Emily Morse.
Yes! No! Maybe? List & Other Sex With Emily Guides: Explore pleasure, deepen connections, and enhance intimacy using these Sex With Emily downloadable guides.
SHOP WITH EMILY! (free shipping on orders over $99)
The only sex book you’ll ever need: Smart Sex: How to Boost Your Sex IQ and Own Your Pleasure
Want more? Visit the Sex With Emily Website
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See the full show notes at sexwithemily.com
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36:04
Hotline Calls: I’m Sore from Oral Sex
You’re in my Hotlines today, and Producer Erica and I are taking your calls! Today’s theme: conversations you need to have with your sex partners.
First, how long should you wait to tell casual sex partners you’re sleeping with other people? We’re all up-leveling our communication skills, so I make the case for telling them immediately. Next, she’s on ADD medication and likes a drink or two – is it negatively affecting her orgasm? Or should her partner have a deeper conversation with her about turn-ons? After that, we’ve got a young couple who just started having oral sex. She’s sore afterwards -- is it a medical condition or underlying shame? Finally, she just discovered her partner watches porn… and the subjects don’t look like her. How can she talk to him about it without judgment?
Have a question? Call my Hotline 559-TALK-SEX (559-825-5739) or message me at sexwithemily.com/askemily.
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Join the SmartSX Membership: Access exclusive sex coaching, live expert sessions, community building, and tools to enhance your pleasure and relationships with Dr. Emily Morse.
Yes! No! Maybe? List & Other Sex With Emily Guides: Explore pleasure, deepen connections, and enhance intimacy using these Sex With Emily downloadable guides.
SHOP WITH EMILY! (free shipping on orders over $99)
The only sex book you’ll ever need: Smart Sex: How to Boost Your Sex IQ and Own Your Pleasure
Want more? Visit the Sex With Emily Website
Let’s get social: Instagram | X | Facebook | TikTok | Threads | YouTube
Let’s text: Sign up here
Want me to slide into your email inbox? Sign Up Here for sex tips on the regular.
See the full show notes at sexwithemily.com.
Dr. Emily Morse shares her expertise on sex, relationships and everything in between! Submit your questions to Emily at sexwithemily.com/ask-emily. For more sexy fun, visit sexwithemily.com and our online store shop.sexwithemily.com. Join SmartSX, her exclusive membership community, for expert-led workshops, intimate discussions, and everything you need to elevate your pleasure! Order her book today: SMART SEX: How to Boost Your Sex IQ and Own Your Pleasure.
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