Pillow Talks

• EPISODE 203: Is This Cheating? Part 2

  Is it cheating if you go to sex club… but just to watch? What about a flirty Snapchat streak with your ex? A prostate massage with no orgasm? 👀 This week, we’re back with Part 2 of one of our most talked-about episodes. We asked our community to share the moments, confessions, and curveballs that made them ask, “Wait…is this cheating?” And let’s just say… the gray areas are graying HARD. Here’s what we’re dishing on in this episode: Is emotional intimacy outside your relationship OK? When fantasies, DMs, or even Reddit lurking crosses the line. Are AI-generated nudes of your partner’s family the point of no return? Why intention and secrecy matter more than the act itself. The emotional toll “nothing happened” takes on a relationship. The difference between curiosity and disrespect when exploring sexually. No matter how you define cheating, one thing’s clear: these kinds of conversations are hard, and they don’t get easier without the right tools. Join the Deeper membership Want hotter sex, deeper convos, and fewer fights? For less than the cost of a date night, get on-demand access to our expert-led courses, live sessions with us, and interactive tools designed to fit into your busy life. Start your journey inside Deeper here. Links & Resources 🔥 The Art Of Initiation  🤖 Meet Vanessa AI (included with Deeper membership)  Stay Connected 📩 Join our email list — vmtherapy.com/subscribe 📲 Follow us on Instagram — @vanessaandxander for behind-the-scenes fun, Q&As, and more tips on love and intimacy. 🎧 Subscribe & Review — New episodes drop every Thursday! Don’t forget to subscribe and leave us a review — it helps us keep creating content you love. ================================= THANKS TO OUR SPONSORS ================================= 👏Thanks Dipsea. Right now, listeners of this show can get a 30-day free trial ➡︎ https://dipseastories.com/pillow 👏Thanks Hungryroot. Get 40% off your first box and a free item of your choice for life ➡︎ https://hungryroot.com/pillow 👏Thanks Cozy Earth. Get an exclusive discount for up to 40% off ➡︎ https://cozyearth.com/pillowtalks Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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• EPISODE 202: Am I being defensive, or am I defending myself?

  We’ve all had that moment — your partner brings something up, and suddenly you’re snapping back with a list of everything they did wrong. But wait… is that defensiveness, or are you just defending yourself? This week, we’re diving into one of the trickiest relationship dynamics out there: defensiveness. And we’re not just talking about it — we’re unpacking real, raw stories straight from you. From sex drive mismatches to mental load meltdowns, parenting disagreements to pasta-water disputes (yep, really), these stories highlight how easy it is to get caught in the cycle of feeling blamed, getting reactive, and shutting down. But we’re also sharing tips to break out of that cycle — with more compassion, more understanding, and way fewer spirals. What You’ll Hear In This Episode: ✅ What defensiveness actually looks like (and why it shows up so fast) ✅ The difference between explaining yourself and shutting down ✅ Real-life listener stories around parenting, mental load, and misunderstandings ✅ What it really means to validate your partner (without agreeing) ✅ How to talk to your partner without triggering defensiveness ✅Practical ways to pause, reflect, and repair (without spiraling) Links & Resources: Check out DEEPER — our new membership with full access to VanessaAI, monthly date night ideas, live calls with us, and more Grab The Ultimate Foreplay Guides to level-up your pleasure skills Follow us on Instagram for more relationship tips and convos Want us to cover your story next? Keep an eye on our IG Stories for callouts Join our email list – Be the first to know about exclusive offers, new products, and exciting updates: vmtherapy.com/subscribe ================================= THANKS TO OUR SPONSORS ================================= 👏Thanks Chewy. Take advantage of amazing holiday savings and shop your personal favorites. Get 20% off your first order ➡︎ https://chewy.com/pillows 👏Thanks Beam. Get up to 40% off for a limited time ➡︎ https://shopbeam.com/PILLOW Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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• EPISODE 201: Couples Coaching Session: They Love Each Other… So Why Does Their Sex Life Feel Stuck?

  🎙️ Welcome to our very first coaching episode! Ever feel stuck in your sex life — like you know things could be better but have no idea how to fix them? That’s exactly where today’s couple is. In this special, brand-new format, we’re coaching a real life couple, and diving deep into mismatched desire, stress, and the invisible walls keeping them from a more connected, fulfilling sex life. We break down: 💬 When one partner feels standoffish about sex – What’s really behind the hesitation? ⚖️ Balancing work, kids & intimacy – Why stress kills desire (and what to do about it). 🔄 Breaking out of a relationship rut – Feeling stuck? Here’s how to start making real changes. 🔥 What happens when the woman has the higher sex drive – And how to navigate it without resentment. ✨ How to actually change your sex life – Small, doable steps that make a big difference. If you’ve ever felt like you and your partner keep missing each other when it comes to intimacy — this episode is for you. And stick around until the end because we have a special announcement you won’t want to miss! Links & Resources 💖 Join Deeper – our new relationship membership! Want more expert-backed support for your love life? Get access to our entire library of courses and guides, exclusive monthly live events with us, and Vanessa AI — your personal, on-demand relationship coach. 👉 vmtherapy.com/deeper 🔑 Take The Intimacy Quiz: Your Key To Love That Lasts Not sure where to start? Take our quiz to find out exactly what your relationship needs most right now. 👉 vmtherapy.com/5keys Stay Connected 📩 Join our email list – Be the first to know about exclusive offers, new products, and exciting updates:https://vmtherapy.com/subscribe. 📲 Follow us on Instagram – @vanessaandxander for behind-the-scenes fun, Q&As, and more tips on love and intimacy. 🎧 Subscribe & review – New episodes drop every Thursday! Don’t forget to subscribe and leave us a review—it helps us keep creating content you love. ========================== THANKS TO OUR SPONSORS ========================== 👏Thanks Goodwipes. Goodwipes will elevate your everyday hygiene with premium wipes that deliver a superior clean that no dry toilet paper can match. 👏Thanks Remi. Give your teeth a break without breaking the bank with Remiand save up to 50%. ➡︎ https://shopremi.com/PILLOW) 👏Thanks Cozy Earth. Get an exclusive discount for up to 40% off. ➡︎ https://cozyearth.com/pillowtalks 👏Thank you goPure. For a limited time, get 25% off. ➡︎ https://www.gopurebeauty.com/PILLOW Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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• EPISODE 200: 200 Episodes Later: Let’s Get Personal! (Ask Us Anything)

  🎉 We made it to 200 episodes! 🎉 It’s wild to think about how far this podcast has come. There’s one thing we know for sure… we couldn’t have come this far without YOU. That’s why for this very special episode, we decided to celebrate by letting you ask us… …absolutely ANYTHING. And you didn’t disappoint. From personal confessions to relationship deep dives to behind-the-scenes business secrets, no topic was off-limits. Tune in for an unfiltered, hilarious, and heartfelt conversation where we tackle: 💬 Personal Qs – Would Vanessa ever let Xander shave his beard? ❤️ Relationship Qs – Are we still in couples therapy? 💼 Business Qs – Have we ever recorded a podcast while totally annoyed with each other? And SO much more! Stick around to the end because we’re teasing something big we’ve been working on behind the scenes… you’re going to want to be on our email list for this one. 👀 Links & Resources: 🔑 Take The Intimacy Quiz: Your Key To Love That Lasts – Find out exactly what your relationship needs most right now and get personalized guidance to start making real changes today! 👉 https://vmtherapy.com/5keys 🏆 March Matchups: The Ultimate Bedroom Bracket – Cast your votes as we put 8 bedroom positions head-to-head, and help us pick the winning position for a brand-new free step-by-step guide! Follow along on Instagram @vanessaandxander and make sure you’re on our email list to get the final results! Stay Connected: 📩 Join our email list – Be the first to know about exclusive offers, new products, and exciting updates: https://vmtherapy.com/subscribe 📲 Follow us on Instagram – @vanessaandxander for behind-the-scenes fun, Q&As, and more tips on love and intimacy. 🎧 Subscribe & Review – New episodes drop every Thursday! Don’t forget to subscribe and leave us a review — it helps us keep creating content you love. ========================== THANKS TO OUR SPONSORS ========================== 👏 Thanks ZocDoc. Download the ZocDoc app to sign-up for FREE and book a top-rated doctor. ➡︎ https://zocdoc.com/pillow 👏 Thanks Cure. Get 20% off your first order. Stay hydrated and feel your best! ➡︎ https://curehydration.com/PILLOW 👏 Thanks Dipsea. Get a 30 day free trial ➡︎ https://dipseastories.com/pillow Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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  1:14:44
• EPISODE 199: Am I The Asshole? Masturbation, Snooping, and Jealousy

  We’re back with a fan-favorite series—Am I The Asshole? 🎉 You know we love diving into the wildest relationship dilemmas, and today’s lineup is extra spicy. We’re tackling situations that might hit way too close to home, like: 🚨 Masturbating - do you have to tell your partner every time? 🚨 Journaling about a past relationship—cheating or harmless? 🚨 Going through a partner’s phone (they found what?? 👀) 🚨 A partner picking up an annoying new voice… and refusing to drop it Sounds messy, right? We’re breaking it ALL down, sharing our takes on who’s the asshole, and of course—we want to hear yours too! Get ready to laugh, cringe, and maybe rethink your own opinions on these situations! 🎧 Want More AITA? If you love these episodes, don’t miss our past Am I The Asshole? deep dives: 🎧 EP 187, EP 155, EP 135, EP 125 📲 Stay Connected with Us! 💌 Join our email list for exclusive BTS + first access to everything we create 📸 Follow us on Instagram and tell us—who do YOU think is the asshole in these stories? 🎥 Subscribe on YouTube to watch this episode & more 💖 Links & Resources – Take Your Intimacy to the Next Level 💋 Give your partner the best foreplay they’ve ever had! → Ultimate Foreplay Guides Transform your sex life with expert-backed techniques designed to maximize pleasure for both of you. 📖 Want to talk about sex in a way that actually works? → Sex Talks: The NYT Best-Selling Book Discover the 5 key conversations that will unlock deeper connection, better communication, and hotter intimacy in your relationship. Which one are you diving into first? Let us know! 💬 ========================== THANKS TO OUR SPONSORS ========================== 👏 Thanks OneSkin. Get started today with 15% off using code **PILLOW** ➡︎ https://oneskin.co. 👏 Thanks Hungryroot. Get 40% off your first box and a free item of your choice for life ➡︎ https://hungryroot.com/pillow 👏 Thanks Blissy. Get better sleep, hair, and skin with Blissy. Get an additional 30% off ➡︎ https://blissy.com/POLLOWPOD. 👏 Thanks Beam. Get up to 40% off for a limited time when you go to ➡︎ https://shopbeam.com/PILLOW. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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