Beat Your Genes Podcast

Evolutionary psychologist, Doug Lisle, PhD discusses listener questions with host, Nathan Gershfeld.  In today's show, Dr. Lisle gves us an update on his upcoming book, and we take a question from a listener who is rethinking a friendship with their friends’ husband following the death of his wife. 0:00 Teasers and Intro 0:23 Year in Review and Book Update 23:42  Friend acting unbothered following his wife’s death – what might be going on?    1.  My wife had a best friend since 5yrs old up until last year when she got an extremely aggressive cancer at the age of 42 which unfortunately took her life in only a few shorts months since diagnosis. As you can imagine it caused a great deal of sadness for my wife, myself, and her friends and family. Her husband on the other hand at least from outside seems to have a totally different response to this situation. At her funeral there was not any look of sadness or not even one tear on his face. No one took much notice as of course people have different reactions to bad situations. However in the coming few months we learned that he was already on dating apps and not long after that found another girlfriend and it’s like nothing happened. It’s like he lost a business partner and just got another. This culminated when he rang my wife to ask her if this new girlfriend can come to my son’s communion to which she was put on the spot and found it hard to say no. The event was very awkward and I was angry that he put her in that position.  My question is this, what should I make of this person? My feelings towards him have changed. I no longer want his kids and mine playing together as I don’t want to interact with the new girlfriend neither does my wife. How does someone move on so fast after a near 20 yr marriage? I’m confused and angered by all of this. It feels like a betrayal of her memory. Can you share your opinion of this situation?   Web: www.beatyourgenes.org Doug Lisle, PhD www.esteemdynamics.com Nathan Gershfeld, DC www.fastingescape.com Intro & outro song: City of Happy Ones • Ferenc Hegedus Licensed for use Copyright Beat Your Genes Podcast

Evolutionary psychologist, Doug Lisle, PhD discusses listener questions with host, Nathan Gershfeld.  In today's show, Dr. Lisle discusses our first question in which a wife feels like she’s sometimes just being used for sex and food. Question #2 is from a listener wondering if some people are just doomed to never find love. 0:00 Teasers and Intro 1:21 Question 1: Wife admires husband but sometimes feels like all he wants is sex and hot meal 36:29 Question 2: Are some people (in the middle of bell curve) not able to find romantic love?   1.  I've heard you say that in a good relationship, the man finds the woman attractive while the woman admires the man's character. This describes my marriage. My husband and I have been together for 30 years. He still wants sex a lot, and I admire his work ethic and dedication as a father.  The problem is, I can't help but feel I'm being "used." I often feel like all he wants from me is sex and a hot meal.  He seems to pour 99% of his energy into his job and career advancement, leaving my emotional needs completely neglected. He works long hours, rarely has time for me, and doesn't share in parenting duties. He's constantly stressed and often snaps at me when he's in a bad mood. When I get upset, he always says he didn't mean it and that he only lashed out because he was at his limit.  I know I can't change who he is, and I can't change my own feelings about his attitude. What can I do to improve our situation? 2. Are some people, who are otherwise normal or middle of the bell curve, just not meant to ever find romantic love? If they are reasonably attractive, intelligent, and have good character is it possible for them to still end alone? What would cause this? Is there any truth to the saying that love comes when you are not looking or when you least expect it?   Web: www.beatyourgenes.org Doug Lisle, PhD www.esteemdynamics.com Nathan Gershfeld, DC www.fastingescape.com Intro & outro song: City of Happy Ones • Ferenc Hegedus Licensed for use Copyright Beat Your Genes Podcast  

Evolutionary psychologist, Doug Lisle, PhD discusses listener questions with host, Nathan Gershfeld.  In today's show, Dr. Lisle discusses the concept of Beating Your Genes and applying evolutionary psychology as a therapist, and then he answers listener questions on dating, dietary disagreement, and mutual decision making in relationships.  0:00 Teasers and Intro 1:56 Applying evolutionary psychology in a therapy practice 25:05  Beating your Genes 28:05 Young woman dating a wealthy man but feeling guilty from all of the gifts 50:34 Husband and Vegan Wife have a great relationship but there is strain around what food to feed their baby 59:10  Women may feel more secure with their mate when he’s right 70% of the time 1. Three months ago, I started dating a very rich man. I am not at all a gold digger and I was not looking for a man at all when I met him. He treats me well and spoils me. However, I feel guilty accepting his gifts and money and not giving him anything in return. I’m 25 years old and a student. For my birthday he bought me thousands of dollars worth of jewelry while I bought him a tie. I felt so bad for not being able to buy him something more expensive. I feel like our relationship is unbalanced and feel guilty every time he spends money on me. I know lots of girls who would love to be in my situation and they definitely wouldn’t feel guilty. What’s wrong with me? How can I stop feeling guilty and just enjoy my time with him? 2. My husband and I are in a magic 10% relationship and we have a one year old baby. I am plant based vegan and he is not. I never thought this would be a problem before we had kids but now it’s putting a huge strain on our relationship. I’m the one who does the most child rearing and so our baby started eating 100% whole foods plant based like me. My husband however thinks that veganism is not healthy for babies so he insists on giving her eggs, meat etc for her brain development. Maybe I have OCD when it comes to healthy eating but I am in such emotional pain when I see him feeding the baby meat. We fight all the time over this and if we continue like this we will end up divorced, which I don’t want to happen because I know I was so in love with him before we had a baby. What should I do? How can I save my marriage? 3. When it comes to females feeling more secure when their males make better decisions 70% of the time - does this apply to all decisions? Like: raising children, cooking, the finances, car repair, household operations, cleaning, travel planning, etc? Are males most comfortable when their female partners make better decisions than them 30% of the time? What about work environments? Should females feel their male bosses and peers make better decisions than them 70% of the time? If so, how can females ever be leaders in the workplace?   Web: www.beatyourgenes.org Doug Lisle, PhD www.esteemdynamics.com Nathan Gershfeld, DC www.fastingescape.com Intro & outro song: City of Happy Ones • Ferenc Hegedus Licensed for use Copyright Beat Your Genes Podcast

Evolutionary psychologist, Doug Lisle, PhD discusses listener questions with host, Nathan Gershfeld. In today's show, we discuss our last episode 345 being removed for 'medical misinformation' even though we have video proof of what was referenced in the offending episode. After an appeal, our video was re-instated, but the creepy feeling of censorship remains. So we are moving to the X platform. We hope to see you there for our normal BYG content. Follow us: X: @beatyourgenes Web: www.beatyourgenes.org Doug Lisle, PhD www.esteemdynamics.com Nathan Gershfeld, DC www.fastingescape.com Intro & outro song: City of Happy Ones • Ferenc Hegedus Licensed for use Copyright Beat Your Genes Podcast