Dr Justin Coulson's Happy Families

• #1229 - Age-Based Consent Conversations (R)

  Consent isn’t just a conversation for teens—it starts from birth and evolves with every stage of childhood. In this important episode, Justin and Kylie Coulson unpack how to teach kids about consent from zero to adolescence. From tickle fights to tricky teen moments, this is your guide to raising respectful, confident kids who know their rights, understand boundaries, and feel empowered to speak up. KEY POINTS: Consent starts early: young children can learn body autonomy through everyday routines like bath time and tickling. Children should be taught they have a voice and their boundaries matter—even with trusted adults and relatives. From ages 6–12, focus on body language, verbal/non-verbal cues, and respect in friendships. For teenagers, conversations shift to romantic relationships, digital safety, and clear, enthusiastic consent. Consent is not a one-off talk—it’s an ongoing conversation based on empathy, safety, and empowerment. QUOTE OF THE EPISODE:“If the person you’re with won’t be excited about what happened tomorrow, that’s not consent.” RESOURCES MENTIONED: Consent Can’t Wait – National campaign with age-appropriate, inclusive resources. Happy Families website – happyfamilies.com.au ACTION STEPS FOR PARENTS: Start early: Give your child opportunities to express preferences about hugs, play, and physical affection. Use everyday language to explain consent during routines like dressing or bathing. Teach kids to read body language and respect “no”—even when it's non-verbal. Give your teens the tools to navigate peer pressure, digital safety, and intimacy with clarity and confidence. Remind your children that they owe no one access to their body—ever. Have open, ongoing conversations about boundaries, empathy, and healthy relationships—at every age. RELATED LINKS: #217 The Age of Consent with Rebecca Sparrow #226 More Than Consent Education with Melinda Tankard Reist Sex, Consent & Staying Safe [Webinar] #1071 - Body Boundaries With Jayneen Sanders Find us on Facebook Subscribe to the Happy Families newsletter Leave a voice memo here or email your questions/comments to [email protected] omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

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• #1228 - Being an ADHD Mum With Jane McFadden (R)

  What happens when a high-achieving mum, running two businesses and parenting three kids, discovers that the chaos in her life isn’t just “normal”—it’s undiagnosed ADHD? In this powerful and relatable conversation, Justin chats with former psychologist and ADHD advocate Jane McFadden about her late diagnosis, parenting in a neurodiverse family, and why understanding is the first step towards connection. KEY POINTS: Jane McFadden was diagnosed with ADHD in adulthood—after years of burnout, high-functioning chaos, and parenting struggles. ADHD can often be masked by achievement, especially in women. Many children and adults use “scaffolding,” or complex routines, to hide difficulties with executive function. Diagnosis isn’t about labels—it’s about understanding and unlocking connection. Neurodiverse families can thrive when support and insight replace shame and confusion. QUOTE OF THE EPISODE:“If you don’t want to label your child, they’ll label themselves—and it’ll be far worse than any diagnosis.” RESOURCES: ADHD Mums podcast by Jane McFadden Happy Families Membership – happyfamilies.com.au Help For the ADHD Parent [Article] Parenting ADHD [The Course] Parenting an ADHD Child [Article] ACTION STEPS FOR PARENTS: If you suspect neurodiversity in yourself or your child, seek a qualified assessment—it can offer clarity and hope. Explore resources and communities like ADHD Mums to connect with others on a similar journey. Approach parenting with empathy—ask your child why something is hard instead of assuming they’re being defiant. Recognise the signs of burnout in yourself and prioritise support. Focus on connection first—diagnosis is a tool to deepen relationships, not define them. Find us on Facebook Subscribe to the Happy Families newsletter See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

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• #1227 - Why the Kids Don't Listen (R)

  If you've ever asked your child to do something—only to be met with silence, eye-rolls, or outright refusal—this episode is for you. Justin and Kylie dive into five surprising reasons why kids ignore us and share five powerful strategies to help them want to listen. With equal parts insight and humour, this episode offers real-world parenting advice that makes connection—not control—the goal. KEY POINTS: Kids often don’t listen because they don’t care about the task or see it as relevant to them. Developmentally, children are egocentric and lack adult-level perspective. Parents often forget to get their child’s attention before making a request. Screentime, distractions, and habits of non-compliance can reduce responsiveness. Being fun, patient, and involved can transform how children respond. QUOTE OF THE EPISODE:“Be the kind of person your kids want to pay attention to.” RESOURCES: Happy Families Membership – happyfamilies.com.au How to Get Your Kids to Really Listen [PDF download] ACTION STEPS FOR PARENTS: Get your child’s attention before speaking—use touch, eye contact, and a calm tone. Be involved—where possible, do the task together rather than directing from afar. Use gentle reminders and accountability instead of repeating or yelling. Be patient—allow time between request and response before following up. Make it fun—add humour, creativity, and playfulness to your interactions to boost connection. Find us on Facebook Subscribe to the Happy Families newsletterSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

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• #1226 - Forcing Kids To Apologise (R)

  Should we be making our children apologise when they do the wrong thing? What does a sincere apology look like? In this episode: Parental Guidance (S1): “Forcing children to apologise is teaching children to lie” Victim mentality People pleasing Ruptured relationships The Parenting Revolution, by Dr Justin Coulson Motivation Continuum - extrinsic, introjected, identified, integrated, intrinsic Is It Wrong to Tell Kids to Apologize? | The Atlantic Theory of Mind Why do children apologise under coercion? Feeling seen, heard, and valued Repairing relationships Why don't kids want to apologise? 4 components of a sincere apology Related links: Should we Force our Children to Say 'Sorry' Carrots & Sticks: How Rewards and Punishments Hurt Our Kids, and What to do Instead [Webinar] Doors are now open to the Happy Families Membership NEW weekly kids’ ‘Print & Play’ subscription FELT (Fostering Emotional Learning Together) Find us on Facebook or TikTok Subscribe to the Happy Families newsletterSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

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• #1225 - Self Control Can Be A Learned Behaviour With Ethan Kross

  Is self-control something you're born with—or something you can teach your kids, starting today? Psychologist and bestselling author Ethan Kross takes us into the science of the inner voice, revealing how our thoughts shape our behaviour—and how we can shape our thoughts. From powerful tools that help children talk to themselves like a friend to simple mindset shifts that build long-term resilience, this conversation is packed with practical wisdom for raising emotionally intelligent, self-regulated kids. KEY POINTS: Self-control is a skill that can be taught and strengthened. The inner voice is a powerful tool in navigating emotions and decision-making. Kids benefit from learning how to create psychological distance during challenges. Techniques like mental time travel and third-person self-talk are effective at all ages. Parents have a unique opportunity to guide how children learn to speak to themselves. QUOTE OF THE EPISODE:“We’re not born with self-control; we learn it. And the tools we use to manage our mind are like muscles—we can train them.” KEY INSIGHTS FOR PARENTS: Help your child shift perspective by asking, “What would you say to a friend?” Build emotional resilience by teaching kids to recall times they’ve overcome obstacles. Model calm and constructive self-talk in your own moments of stress—kids are watching. Introduce the idea of an “inner coach” who can guide them through tough situations. RESOURCES MENTIONED: Chatter: The Voice in Our Head, Why It Matters, and How to Harness It by Ethan Kross University of Michigan’s Emotion & Self-Control Lab Techniques such as self-distancing, visualisation, and reflective self-talk ACTION STEPS FOR PARENTS: Be intentional with your own self-talk—your children are learning from you. Use playful, imaginative language to teach kids how to create emotional distance. Encourage children to reflect on past successes to fuel future confidence. Practice third-person self-talk together to turn overwhelming moments into teachable ones. Keep emotional regulation tools simple, visual, and consistent. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

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